Friday, 15 June 2012

Jaws Review

Little White Lies intercepts a private message concerning an exciting new 'Untitled Shark Pic'. Click through to read secret studio notes on cast, score, director, title and more...

Saturday, 19 May 2012

Man In Black 3 Review

'If ITV had made 'Dr Who', it would look something like this...'

Erratic Tex-Mex man-love for Josh Brolin notwithstanding, ERH proceeds to get unnecessarily hot under the starched collar over the out of date, out of ideas and thoroughly out if time threequel to the sheer perfection that was the original Men in Black for Little White Lies...

Friday, 18 May 2012

The Avengers Review

'Like being kicked repeatedly in the throat by a metal dog...'

They don't come much bigger and they don't get all that very much better than Joss Whedon's bright, shiny, unapologetically fun superhero smackdown, The Avengers/Avengers Assemble. Click through for our lengthy, somewhat smitten review of Marvel's sprightly leviathan for Little White Lies...

Thursday, 17 May 2012

Connery and Moore appear as Richard Nixon's Spitting Image puppet and Pat Butcher/a rotting orange respectively in Time Out's 1983 homage to Radio Times cover art.

Just imagine what they'd have done with Daniel Craig's mug - a visage ERH has always thought looked like a cross between a fleshy upturned plug and a dented coal scuttle.

Wednesday, 16 May 2012

Animation: The Eagleman Stag

An assured, delicately monochromatic creation in folded card and plasterboard, Mikey Please's The Eagleman Stag is a grudgingly humanistic mix of memory, aging and mutant beetle DNA, and will likely be one of the greatest things you’ll see on any screen this year...  

Sunday, 13 May 2012

Rewind: Joysticks (1983)

The kids are funning it up and City Hall wants to drop the curtain on their good times. We’ve heared this song before, but Joysticks is a lament, not a hymn...

Saturday, 12 May 2012

Film File: The Deer Hunter (1978)

Just. How. Cool. Is. This? Michelangelo goes Cimino in this brilliant, bonkers Deer Hunter Time Out cover from Feb, 1979.

Click through for a precise dissection of the film.

Friday, 11 May 2012

Satin Crew Jacket Heaven

The ERH Fashion Desk is a much maligned section of our vast sprawling organ, but even a blind squirrel finds the odd nut, and they've stumbled across a real blinder in the net's premier resource for Vintage TV and Film Crew Jackets.

Standouts are an unglued drug-busting cartoon on this silver 'Miami Vice' number, a ghoulish burgundy 'Night Court' jacket and this cooler-than-school 'Baretta' windbreak. But ERH's favourite has to be this slick, hi-tech, midnight black street-tough jacket knocked out to accompany warm, fuzzy MASH spin-off 'Trapper John M.D.'

ERH is now heading over to ebay with the housekeeping money and the sad, pitiful illusion that our ungainly bucket-gut and curiously misshapen frames could ever actually pull one of these babies off. See you there!

Wednesday, 9 May 2012

Rewind: Eat The Rich (1987)

The nobs are snubbing the snobs and the peasants are truly revolting in The Comic Strip's 1987 jollity pogrom!

Tuesday, 8 May 2012

Jerry Seinfeld's Video Shelf: Revealed!

Ever wondered what movies made up the motley collection of video tapes in the corner of Jerry Seinfeld's apartment? Well, now, after much educated guesswork, plenty of wild hypotheses and a many a crazed conjecture, ERH has the evidence that will finally lay the matter to rest once and for all. Our archivists have been granted unprecedented access to a recent find made in the Columbia Studios vault that puts an end to years of speculation, violent disagreement and bitter schisms within the fan community. The truth is here at last...

Monday, 7 May 2012


It’s a celluloid jungle out there. We’ve all of us at one point got our wires crossed and settled down for a night in front of the box with Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant in Hitchcock’s peerless spy caper Notorious only to be confronted with workaday Biggie Smalls biopic… Notorious. Even the most diligent film fan can often find it tricky to differentiate between the deluge of similarly titled claptrap out there, but here are a few that you most definitely don’t want to mix and match…

Sunday, 6 May 2012

Photo Archive: Lemon Popsicle (1977)

From back in the days when film mags weren't afraid to emblazon their covers with Jewish jailbait comes this... notable... issue of much-beloved but long-defunct mag 'Films and Filming' - the weird uncle of UK film magazines - featuring a couple of horny Hebrews from the excellent Lemon Popsicle (think Mean Streets meets Porky's in suburban Tel Aviv).

ERH found this copy mixed in with a pile of vintage bongo on a railway siding, but more can be found here. 'F+F-ing' mag cover policy would seem to have been to choose images on a dare after nine pints of wallop in The Coach and Horses of a Friday lunchtime. Try, for example, clicking on 1978 and scrolling down to #285 for an even more alarming cover that sees Bud Cort posing as 'Willy, Hitler's Son' and sporting an itty-bitty spider as a moustache!

Saturday, 5 May 2012

Photo Archive: Buffalo Bill and the Indians (1976)

ERH can take or leave Robert Altman. Save for the peerless McCabe & Mrs. Miller, his films are a fairly mixed bunch of smug nonsense (M*A*S*H, O.C. and Stiggs), top-heavy actoring (Short Cuts, Gosford Park) and just plain screwy (Popeye, Brewster McCloud). Some hit, many miss, but all of Altman's patchiest aspects were gathered together for the total mess that was 1976's Buffalo Bill and the Indians, or Sitting Bull's History Lesson, a film that never outruns it's stage origins and slowly settles into a drunken - and very lengthy - shouting match between Paul Newman and any luckless bastard unfortunate enough to wander across his sight-line.

Rant over, we cannot deny that the film gifted us these fine, somewhat Dylanesque, production stills, some of which - such as the above - make it look as if someone had spiked the lunch wagon burritos with a heavy peyote garnish.

Click through for more...

Friday, 4 May 2012

VHS Heroes: Michael Douglas

Hollywood Stooge or Inside Man? The ERHQ Star Chamber reconsiders the career of the movie star that divides audiences deeper than a sportive pair...

Thursday, 3 May 2012

RGB: Stone Trek

ERH has got to get organisised: entire star clusters of internet goodness are birthing and dying before we've had a chance to be high-handed and snarky about them! Luckily we've just about caught the comet tails of this web-nugget that takes two of the ERH Coaxial Desk's favourite things - intergalactic bri-nylon Sixties derring-doer 'Star Trek' and Paleolithic 'Simpsons' forbear 'The Flintstones' - and mashes them up into chunks of legally dubious space-rock starring Leonard Alloy (?) as Mr. Spock and William Shatrock (!) as priapic boy-scout Jim Kirk. Set Phasers for stoned!

See more here...

Wednesday, 2 May 2012

RGB: Muppet Seinfeld Babies

"You've got your Muppet Babies all over my Seinfeld!"

There's very little you can add to that...

Tuesday, 1 May 2012

Monday, 30 April 2012

The I-Say Team!

Ever wondered what a sepia-tinged post-War British village green version of 'The A-Team' might be like? Neither had we until we came across this slice of raffish insouciance from YouTube bounder and corduroy-coloured cad dbroon1. Sounds like a Jocko to us, but no matter, what?

ERH ditches the movies to indulge in a spot of naked nostalgia with this ribald skit that sees Hannibal and the boys whisked away from their weekly barneys with sweaty rednecks, lisping drug lords and pan-fried gangbangers to a sepia-tinged world of gentility, reserve and powdered egg; where pratfalls have replaced RPGs and problems are solved not with high speed car chases and cabbage-firing bazookas but with a stern open letter to The Times.

Carry on!

Sunday, 29 April 2012

Genre Specific: 'John Bull on the Moon!'

Genre Specific - voyager on the eggshell rim of cinema's event horizon - splashes down in the shallow sea of films that planted a Union Jack on the moon and Plucky Little England at the heart of the space race. Come with us as we take one small step for a gentleman, one giant leap for gentlemankind...

Friday, 27 April 2012

Rewind: Two Idiots In Hollywood (1988)

... a celluloid two-step in which the fourth wall is nothing but a whirling disco ball into which the cast and crew pontificate, proselytise and plead for forgiveness...

Wednesday, 18 April 2012

Hawaiian Punch!

The ERH Shit You Could Have Easily Found On Youtube By Yourself Desk 'brings you' 129 carats of 80s advertising gold that bejewel that cosy, familiar Reagan-era line between the stiflingly snug and the sexually over-aggressive. The Pac-Man cartoon, 'American Bandstand', a brand of mints called 'Certs' that seem to perform as a kind of quick-release fresh-breath date-rape drug and Joanie still loves Chachi? ERH is in ERHeaven...

Tuesday, 10 April 2012

Rewind: Caveman (1981)

Ringo Starr - for it is he - grunts, tokes and bongos through that elephant’s graveyard of a genre - the comedy caveman caper.

Monday, 9 April 2012

Photo Archive: Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band

Do they make films like this these days? Aerosmith, Lurch from The Addams Family and end-of-the-pier pervert Frankie Howerd mugging their way through The Beatles' 'Come Together'? What would be the modern iteration of this - U2, a CGI Mr Snuffleupagus and Jimmy Carr belting through through 'Champagne Supernova' (note to self: that actually sounds rather quite diverting)?

Our trawl through the flood-damaged basement that houses the ERH filing system - as well as our deepest, darkest cinematic peccadilloes - brings us to Saturday Night Fever producer Robert Stigwood's flabbergasting Beatle-free 1978 rock opera Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band.

Starring Peter Frampton as the one and only Billy Shears, it's a motley grab-bag of re-recorded Beatles tunes strung together by turns from the The Bee Gees, Alice Cooper, Dame Edna, and peaks with an unglued version of 'Maxwell's Silver Hammer' delivered by a top-form Steve Martin in full-on Wild & Crazy Guy mode.

Click through for more walrus weirdness...

Sunday, 1 April 2012

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance Review

'Murder by Man-Cycle'? Yep, that just about sums it up. Not even ERH's all-consuming Cage fetish can keep our Little White Lies review from burning some heavy, heavy rubber all over this gummy, flaccid BMX-ecrable sequel.

Thursday, 1 March 2012

Rhyl to Reel - Celluloid Cymru

St. David's Day is here again, providing a perfect excuse for the Taffy that dwells at the molten core of ERH to reword a few Wikipedia entries and let rip with a rundown of our Hollywood-meets-Hollyhead silver screen heroes...


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